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Why Cynicism is Good for Your Workplace

This may seem to be a bit of an “about face” for me – given my previous writing on how cynicism is a result of “bad recognition” or when employees question the authenticity of appreciation communicated. But it occurred to me that, really, cynicism can be a positive influence in our workplaces. How? When people are cynical, they are giving us honest feedback about how they really feel. When was the last time that you heard a cynical remark from a colleague and you accused them of not being honest regarding how they really feel? (Aside from the sarcastic remark:... Continue reading...

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June 6, 2013 3:01 pm
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Perspectives on Perseverance

One of the benefits I receive from the work I do with family-owned businesses and successful business leaders is the opportunity to hear their life (and business’ life) story, and learn from them (hopefully!) . One of the questions we typically ask in our interviews is: “To what do you attribute your financial and business success?” Common answers are “perseverance”,  “sticking to it over the long haul”, “continuing to do what we knew was right”.  (Other frequent responses are: “being in the right place at the right time”, “luck”, “God’s blessing”,  depending on their worldview.) It is often helpful to... Continue reading...

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February 10, 2013 9:56 pm
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The Dangerous Pathway of Rescuing Others from Their Choices

I have been working with families, kids, teens and young adults for 30 years now.  One of the most common challenges I see individuals experience is knowing when to let their family members experience the results of their choices and when to intervene and “rescue” them from the negative consequences they will be facing. (Interestingly, the situation often occurs with adult siblings, as well as the more common incidents with children – regardless of their age.) The pattern can start subtly and innocently (for example, taking Johnny’s report to school for him when he left it home accidentally) but, if... Continue reading...

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January 13, 2013 9:24 pm
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How to Give a Meaningful Gift to Your Boss (or Colleagues)

Now is the time when many of us are starting to think: “I’d like to get my boss a gift for Christmas — just a little something — but what?  I don’t want it to look like I’m trying to gain her favor.  But I don’t want just to give her some token ‘something’ that will look schmaltzy.  (And I don’t want to spend a lot on it.)  What could I get her?” I think I have a good option for you.  But, first, let me frame the scenario: Most of us don’t need another “thing” (or the “things” we... Continue reading...

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December 7, 2012 8:32 am
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The Commonalities between Healthy Organizations & Successful Individuals

Recently, I was privileged to hear Patrick Lencioni speak at the Willow Creek Association Leadership Summit, and I have also been reading his excellent book, The Advantage. Patrick believes that, while most companies and organizations have the technical and knowledge aspects of business down, “the advantage” the more successful organizations and businesses have is being a “healthy organization”.  He defines healthy organizations as being characterized by: Minimal politics Minimal confusion High levels of productivity High staff morale, and Low staff turnover (among good employees). Patrick’s research and professional experience indicates that when a company has their intellectual side (strategy, marketing,... Continue reading...

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August 26, 2012 8:40 pm
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First Reflections from my Trip to Beijing

I have just returned from a week in Beijing, China, where I was invited to attend a conference sponsored by the publisher who is translating and publishing Dr. Chapman’s and my book, The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace, in Chinese. The conference attendees were various Western business and organizational leaders and we were addressed by a variety of Chinese experts and leaders on “The Next Ten Years” in China. They shared what is happening now and the trends to come in demographics (moving from 75%+ rural to approximately 50% urban currently), the family unit (the impact of 33... Continue reading...

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April 2, 2012 11:54 am
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The “State of the Family” in Family Owned Businesses

[Note: It has been a while since I’ve written a blog entry. I apologize. I’ve been focused on speaking and training engagements for my book, and that has taken most of my time and mental energy. I will be writing more frequently (again) in my blog.] As I continue to work with families and family owned businesses across the country, I have noticed some themes about the “State of the Family” that I’d like to share. Essentially, there are three broad categories into which families seem to fall: 1. Healthy, functioning families. To be honest, this seems to be the... Continue reading...

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March 23, 2012 2:54 pm
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Utilizing Thanksgiving as a Reminder to Appreciate Your Staff

Thanksgiving is the holiday where we are encouraged to be thankful for the good things in our lives – health, safety, adequate food, clothing, and shelter, as well as the many material blessings we have. For most people, Thanksgiving is usually more of a personally-focused celebration, including sharing meals and time with family and friends.But the Thanksgiving holiday season can also be an opportunity to focus on, and be reminded of, the positive aspects of our work lives. This is especially true in these more difficult economic times, where many who desire employment are unable to find work or have... Continue reading...

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November 17, 2011 12:43 pm
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How to Avoid Holiday Burnout

“The holidays.”  Those two words are packed with memories, fleeting media images and mixed emotional reactions.  The Thanksgiving-Christmas-New Year’s holiday season has begun, and if you are like me, with them come a rapid succession of excitement, anticipation, anxiety, wonder, and a sense of tiredness (and I haven’t even done anything yet.) We are planning the extended family Thanksgiving gathering – deciding who is hosting the meal, who will be able to come (and who is going to the “other side” of the family), what favorite recipes people will bring, and what activities will be planned (shopping, playing and watching... Continue reading...

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November 11, 2011 12:40 pm
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5 Tips for Improving Your Workplace

Labor Day used to be a day to recognize the benefits of organized labor and, more broadly, celebrate the American work ethic. More recently, however, it serves as a painful reminder of the deterioration of the American workplace. The national statistics, with unemployment between 9 percent and 17 percent depending on whom you ask, are bad enough. But even for the employed, work has become a barely bearable chore, with only 45 percent of workers in a recent survey saying they were happy with their careers. Many companies have withheld raises and bonuses over the past two years while reducing... Continue reading...

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September 5, 2011 12:26 pm
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Some Fun Things Related to 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace

Friends, I thought I would just give you a brief update on issues regarding my book, the 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace, with Dr. Gary Chapman, and “happenings” on our website. The #1 question people ask is:  “How are book sales?” so I’ll answer that first. 1.  Book sales are going fine.  They aren’t meteoric but they have increased steadily every week for four weeks (including presales prior to the official launch).  We are not only selling books through retail but also we are getting a fair number of bulk book orders for businesses and organizations. 2.  We’ve... Continue reading...

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August 28, 2011 7:25 pm
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Lessons Learned from Media Interviews

In the past two weeks since the launch of Dr. Chapman’s and my book, the 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace, I have had over 20 media interviews — radio (mostly), TV, and print.  It has been a fun and interesting experience — and I have more to do in the coming weeks. I thought I would share some of the lessons and observations I have made from these interviews with radio & TV hosts, and magazine writers. Most people understand and agree that appreciation in the workplace is needed and can be extremely impactful. Everyone sees that the... Continue reading...

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August 13, 2011 11:04 am
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Too Much Information — Tips for Managing Information Overload

“TMI”  (“too much information”) is a message teens and young adults sometimes send to their peers — or even their parents.  But usually it is used in the context of  “that is more personal or detailed information about that situation than I ever wanted to know.” As is becoming more and more obvious, however, “too much information” is an issue that is affecting the quality of our lives.  There is no longer any doubt that there is far more information available and being generated than anyone can process. But how we deal with information overload is partially related to our... Continue reading...

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July 17, 2011 5:46 pm
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Revisiting the Meaning of “Vacation”

This past week I had the privilege of taking a short vacation to the mountains in Colorado with my wife.  We had a delightful time (just the two of us, our four kids are ‘out and about’.)  We were in awe of the majesty of the mountains; we couldn’t believe how many trees there were (alive and dead); and we loved the power and beauty of the rushing rivers. While enjoying the time away from work, being with my wife, and in nature, I had some time to reflect on “vacation” — what it is, what it means, and often... Continue reading...

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June 24, 2011 4:58 pm
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Damaged Personal Relationships Cost Businesses Money

characteristics of healthy marriages,Businesses are primarily focused on selling their products or services to customers and making the profit (or creating value in the business to be captured when the business sells).  That is the essence of business.  And that can be done in lots of ways — by treating your employees well or “using” them,  by providing quality products or by scamming people to make a “quick buck”, by being a responsible community member or not. But one point that we have known intuitively is becoming increasingly clear — what happens in an employee’s personal life affects their performance... Continue reading...

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June 12, 2011 5:12 pm
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What are we remembering — and why?

Memorial Day in the U.S. represents a variety of things to different people: A day off of work (possibly even paid!) The beginning of summer Going to the lake Having a barbeque with friends and family Having to get together with family The Indianapolis 500 Visiting family gravesites Veterans parades and celebrations Watching old war flicks For me, especially when getting together with children, teenagers & young adults, I start to think about — what does Memorial Day mean to them?  In some ways, maybe it doesn’t matter — it is what it is and it is their life.  But,... Continue reading...

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May 30, 2011 3:27 pm
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Am I Making the Right Choices? Using Life Transition Events to Reevaluate Your Life

Life is daily.  And sometimes it is hard to see if the choices you are making on a daily basis are leading to the results you desire in your life. During the late spring and early summer, we have some opportunities to stop and reconsider:  “Am I living life the way I want to?”  “Do my daily and weekly activities really reflect what is important to me?” We are in the midst of the season for graduations (high school and college), weddings, family gatherings and the beginning of summer vacation.  These life transition events, in combination with getting together with... Continue reading...

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May 15, 2011 5:18 pm
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The Attitude of Learning — Demonstrated by a 70 year old World Leader

Wow.  There are some life experiences that almost take your breath away.  I’m not talking about riding a rollercoaster, or seeing an outstanding artistic performance.  But a quieter experience, that upon reflection, has a deep impact on you.  This week I had one of those. I had the privilege of going to New York City to help facilitate a discussion among 20+ extremely bright, very successful individuals as part of an event sponsored by Princeton University (I had the opportunity to be there as a result of a friend’s invitation.) So, here we were in this conference room, seated around... Continue reading...

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May 4, 2011 7:46 pm
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Perspective — How It Shapes Our Daily Lives

The importance of perspective is becoming more clear to me all the time.   Perspective implies a viewpoint — a place from which we are looking at our lives and the world around us.  Pick a specific spot, a physical location, that you have been to in your life.  It could be a beautiful vista overlooking the Grand Canyon, the top of a mountain in Colorado, at the bottom of a valley next rushing mountain river, or hiking in the fall foliage of Vermont. Now, change your perspective — look at that spot from an airplane 30,000 feet above it —... Continue reading...

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April 26, 2011 8:05 pm
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Two More Steps Forward

This past week we took two more steps forward in the 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace project. First, we received an initial printing of the book (called Advanced Reader Copies) which is sent to book reviewers and potential endorsers.  It was exciting to see and hold an actual printed version.  So now we are sending these out to business and organizational leaders, as well as professional book reviewers. Secondly, we launched our new, upgraded website for the Motivating By Appreciation Inventory.  This has been in the works for a few months and we are glad to have it... Continue reading...

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April 11, 2011 9:02 am
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Making Difficult Decisions – Some Principles for Our Leaders to Consider

Our political leaders have some very difficult issues to manage: Not enough tax revenue to pay for commitments made; The need to cut expenditures, with the accompanying result of displeasing (and even angering) constituents in the areas reduced; Seemingly unrealistic expectations from the general public – wanting “less government” and reduced taxes, but still wanting the same level of services provided; Rules and regulations which have accumulated over the years that, on the one hand, provide some protection for consumers but, on the other hand, drive up the costs of production for goods and services; Probable inefficiencies and waste in areas of... Continue reading...

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February 24, 2011 4:26 pm
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Egypt, Tunisia, Yemen,… Understanding Social Change

If you are like me, you may be intrigued by the events of the past two weeks in the Middle East.  The rapid social change that is happening (or trying to happen) in Egypt, Tunisia, Yemen, Jordan, and potentially other countries is both fascinating, curious, and sometimes scary. I clearly have little knowledge or expertise of Middle Eastern politics or of Arab cultures (they are not unitary, you know.  Just like there are cultural differences among Western countries.)  But there are some common themes that may be helpful to watch for as we watch, hear or read the news. People... Continue reading...

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February 4, 2011 8:22 pm
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Observations from the World of Business — What People Are Thinking

Given that I  meet with business owners, leaders of non-profit organizations, as well as front-line workers from across the country, I have the opportunity to “take the pulse” of what people are thinking and feeling in the world of work.  I thought I’d share some of my impressions. Less sheer fear and panic. Overall, there seems to be a reduced sense of overwhelming fear and panic about the economy continuing to tank (like there was 12-18 months ago).  There is still a low level of fear and anxiety, the pure panic has resided. Cautious hope. This is not the same... Continue reading...

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January 27, 2011 7:19 pm
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Do You Communicate in Morse Code, FM radio waves or HDTV?

The fact that people have different communication styles in not news. However, I have found a “word picture” that seems to really help individuals get a better sense of how different they are from others, and also gives a clearer understanding on the challenges they have in communicating effectively with those close to them. There is a wide range in how each of us: a) think about the world around us; b) create messages in our minds; c) communicate what we are thinking; and d) decode and interpret the messages we receive. Essentially, we each are “wired” differently, and that... Continue reading...

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January 1, 0201 2:27 pm
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