Categories for Stress management
I see a lot of “burned out” (or “flaming out”) employees. People who are emotionally, relationally and physically worn down. Responsible individuals that have “given all they’ve got” (usually in multiple areas of their lives) and don’t have much, if anything, left to give. Being “burned out” doesn’t have much to do with what type of work you do. Burned out employees exist everywhere: medical settings, schools, law enforcement, insurance companies, long-term care facilities and hospices, financial institutions, mining companies, and intercity social service agencies just to name a few. How can I tell they’re worn out? Here are the... Continue reading...
Have you ever felt like you were in a rut or experiencing a particularly low point in your life? It’s times like these when we feel down, hopeless and stuck. This can run the spectrum of significance, such as being bored at work to grieving the death of a family member or friend, but the symptoms are the same. We become disengaged and cannot fully focus or show up with our best selves. The key to getting out of a rut is self-care, even when that feels like your lowest priority and the last thing you have time for. But... Continue reading...
One of the most common maladies in the 21st century is living lives that feel stressed and chronically overwhelmed. We are busy, tired, and we feel stretched – there always seems to be more to do than we have time or energy. When demands appear to be greater than our resources, the result in our lives is stress. We feel stressed in different areas of life: time, physical and emotional energy, relational demands and finances. Stress then displays itself in our lives in a variety of ways: irritability, anxiety, not eating well, poor sleep habits, not exercising regularly, making hasty... Continue reading...
Sometimes “life” takes us different directions than we were expecting. And sometimes life’s events illuminate the inter-relatedness of various areas of our life more vividly. That has happened to me in the past few weeks. (This is a highly personal entry. I feel like I need to let you know upfront that I’m not writing this to gain sympathy but just to share “where I am” and lessons I am trying to learn.) Less than four weeks ago, my older sister, Kathy, was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer that was already quite advanced within her body. A week later... Continue reading...
Part of my job as a psychologist is to observe – observe patterns of behavior, be attune to my own thoughts and feelings, and to derive some potentially helpful information from patterns I see. I have observed some factors in life that really wear people down – they are not really hidden but are often subtle. Sometimes they are obvious and plain, but people (both the person experiencing the aspect of life as well as those around them) tend to minimize the impact the issue has on their life. So let me share some of my observations (remember,... Continue reading...
How do you know (or find out) what is encouraging to the people with whom you work? The topic of “How do you feel appreciated?” is not a common workplace conversation and this type of question can make individuals feel somewhat uncomfortable. Often, they respond: “I don’t know. Just tell me ‘thanks’.” But people do tend to think in terms of “encouragement” and “discouragement”. So, the question to ask is: “When you are discouraged, what is something that someone can do or say that would encourage you?” (or, “What has encouraged you in the past?”) But sometimes, we need encouragement. ... Continue reading...
Much of the news this past week has been focused on President Trump’s first 100 days in office and what accomplishments have been made in that time frame. On the one hand, setting a deadline to review progress made on goals seems appropriate; on the other hand, this process is a great example of how setting arbitrary deadlines create unnecessary stress in the workplace. For the President (Trump or otherwise), is there anything magical about 100 days? Not really. The time period could be 90 days, 3 months, or 101 days — the length of time is not directly related... Continue reading...
I see a lot of “burned out” (or “flaming out”) employees. People who are emotionally, relationally, and physically worn down. Responsible individuals (usually in multiple areas of their lives) that have “given all they’ve got” and don’t have much, if anything, left to give. Being “burned out” doesn’t have much to do with what type of work you do. I have the opportunity to work with a variety of work settings and lots of different types of businesses and burned out employees exist everywhere: medical settings, schools, law enforcement, insurance companies, long-term care facilities and hospices, financial institutions, mining companies,... Continue reading...
Some people love the holiday season, while others really don’t. In fact, it seems that a growing number of people make comments like: “I hate the holidays!” (Maybe they are just more vocal about it.) To find out more specifics, last year we sent out a survey to find out what about the holiday season employees don’t like – partly for our own education, but also to see if there were practical ideas that when implemented could reduce employees’ irritation. And there are. Over 1,200 of our readers completed our survey (within 24 hours of it being sent out!) On... Continue reading...
December 7, 2016 11:00 am
In the summer months, I often reflect on the idea of “vacation” — what it is, what it means, and often what it has come to mean in our culture. First, vacation means “to vacate” — to leave, to get out of here, to get away from your daily setting and responsibilities. As my wife has commented, she gets a different perspective on life when she gets away from the daily routine. Even if you are in a tight financial situation, getting away for a few days to a cheap cabin close-by can be sufficient. Next, vacation implies that you aren’t working. You... Continue reading...
As a psychologist, I have evaluated over 4,000 individuals – usually with regards to learning difficulties they are experiencing. In my feedback sessions, I often share with parents the core characteristics that make individuals successful in life. (I define “life success” as becoming an independent functional adult, having healthy relationships, and experiencing a level of happiness and contentment in one’s life.) Why do I talk about these with the parents of students I have evaluated? Because many times, the students have challenges (such as limited intellectual capacities, severe and multiple learning disorders, severe social or emotional disorders) that will make... Continue reading...
“TMI” (“too much information”) is a message teens and young adults sometimes send to their peers — or even their parents. But usually it is used in the context of “that is more personal or detailed information about that situation than I ever wanted to know.” As is becoming more and more obvious, however, “too much information” is an issue that is affecting the quality of our lives. There is no longer any doubt that there is far more information available and being generated than anyone can process. But how we deal with information overload is partially related to our... Continue reading...
February 17, 2016 7:00 am
Do you ever wish you could do something meaningful? That you could make the world a better place? Well, you can! One of the easiest ways to make a difference in the world is by taking a small action to help other people feel appreciated, accepted and valued. Here are five ways you can make the world a better place by brightening someone’s world today: #1 Visit Someone. So much of our communication is digital these days. It can make someone’s day to have a real, live, caring person show up just to say hello (without asking for something, like... Continue reading...
According to research conducted by Deloitte and reported on Forbes.com, “two-thirds of today’s employees feel ‘overwhelmed.’” Because of the “proliferation of technology,” work-life balance has disappeared and the barriers that traditionally kept work and home separate have broken down. The study identified the following key factors as contributing to feeling overwhelmed at work: • Working too hard (40% of men work more than 50 hours per week) • Distraction/multitasking (i.e., checking phones 150 times per day, literally) • Information overload including: emails, conference calls, meetings and other distractions If you are one of the two-thirds of employees feeling overwhelmed and... Continue reading...
What Makes a Workplace Toxic? Susan, a competent young professional, looked worn and defeated. In talking about her workplace, she told us that bickering, criticism, and lack of support had spread through her organization – a workplace she used to love. Now, she said, “The tension here is so thick I hate going to work. Actually, right now, I hate my life.” In our book, Rising Above a Toxic Workplace, we surveyed hundreds of employees (and leaders) from a wide range of industries and sectors. We then individually interviewed dozens whose stories intrigued us. From our research we discovered the... Continue reading...
“The holidays.” Those two words are packed with memories, fleeting media images and mixed emotional reactions. The Thanksgiving-Christmas-New Year’s holiday season has begun, and if you are like me, with them come a rapid succession of excitement, anticipation, anxiety, wonder, and a sense of tiredness (and I haven’t even done anything yet.) We are planning the extended family Thanksgiving gathering – deciding who is hosting the meal, who will be able to come (and who is going to the “other side” of the family), what favorite recipes people will bring, and what activities will be planned (shopping, playing and watching... Continue reading...
November 11, 2011 12:40 pm
In the past two weeks since the launch of Dr. Chapman’s and my book, the 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace, I have had over 20 media interviews — radio (mostly), TV, and print. It has been a fun and interesting experience — and I have more to do in the coming weeks. I thought I would share some of the lessons and observations I have made from these interviews with radio & TV hosts, and magazine writers. Most people understand and agree that appreciation in the workplace is needed and can be extremely impactful. Everyone sees that the... Continue reading...
I have been reflecting on the role of quiet (or the lack of it) in our lives — from two different perspectives. Quiet in our daily life environments. I’m not sure we are aware of how much noise we live with. Not just the ambient noise around us — the air conditioner or heating fan, the hum of the refrigerator, traffic sounds, sirens, the announcements or music at airports, the TV at restaurants, people’s conversations around us — but also the ‘noise’ we bring into our lives. I can be particularly bad about this — turning on the radio and... Continue reading...
February 20, 2010 8:26 am
We usually think of opposites in terms of a simple, “either-or” relationship — such as light and darkness, large and small, heavy and light. And these opposites exist on a single continuum, with the opposing characteristics being on the ends of the spectrum. But there are some relationships which are more complex, where there is more than one characteristic that can be opposite of another. For example, in comparing a “good meal” with a bad one, there are different factors that can lead to that judgment. The quality of the basic ingredients, the correct amount of the ingredients, combining the... Continue reading...
November 21, 2009 3:28 pm
Part of my job as a psychologist is to observe — observe patterns of behavior, be attune to my own thoughts and feelings, and to derive some potentially helpful information form patterns I see. In recent months and weeks, I have observed some factors in life that really wear people down — they are not really hidden but are often subtle. Sometimes they are obvious and plain, but people (both the person experiencing the aspect of life as well as those around them) tend to minimize the impact of the issue on their life. So let me share some of... Continue reading...
Recently, the American Psychological Association recognized 14 companies as leaders in creating healthy workplace environments. Besides just helping their employees “feel good” (the ubiquitous reply to anything psychologists do), there are some practical economic benefits for the companies as well: One company has reduced absenteeism by 34 percent The average employee turnover for the top five award winners was 11 percent, in comparison to the national average of 39 percent At these companies, 85 percent of employees reported being satisfied with their jobs, in comparison to only 61 percent nationally And only 5 percent of the employees indicated they intend... Continue reading...
Today’s economic environment is taking a huge emotional toll on business owners and managers. Given the shrinking economy, with orders for manufacturing being canceled or put on hold, with little happening in the construction industry, and with the general public spending less at the retail level — many businesses are having to either cut back employees hours or let them go altogether. The “hidden” story behind this pattern is the huge emotional strain business owners and managers are experiencing. And I am hearing from more and more of them each week. One manufacturing executive told me he volunteered to take... Continue reading...
As a psychologist, I naturally find myself observing people’s behavior — their choices, what they are saying, and how they are feeling. And this is the case now, in the midst of the difficult economic times in which we find ourselves (I am consciously choosing not to use the term “financial crisis”.) There are three core aspects to any situation that involves human perception and response: Reality. What actually “is” — the facts of the situation. (Using a non-related example: the temperature — which is about 30 degrees F. on a mid March day.) Perceptions. How people perceive, view, and... Continue reading...
The Dark Side of WealthI have been collecting some articles on psychology and wealth from a variety of journals I receive, and recently there was a group of articles published in the Monitor of Psychology which is published by the American Psychological Association. I thought I would briefly share some of the information reported. One article in the January 2009 Monitor entitled “Mind over money” was an interview with Dr. Paul Zak who is the founder of the Center for Neuroeconomics Studies. He is the author of a recent book, Moral Markets: The Critical Role of Values in the Economy... Continue reading...
Almost all of us in the United States are now starting to personally experience some aspect of the global and national economic crisis. Whether it is through a personal or family job loss, friends and extended family members who have been laid off, a slow down in your business, or projected reduced sales for next year — the impact is now personal. This is different than hearing it on the news or reading statistics in a publication. I resent the frenzy and panic the media seems to want to whip up, because this type of communication doesn’t help anyone. We... Continue reading...
I just finished traveling from Wichita to San Francisco this Election Day and was reflecting on the stress of prior Election Nights. So I thought I’d give a few suggestions for each of us to manage our stress successfully. Manage your expectations. Regardless of your political affiliation or views, it is probable that not all of your desired results will happen. In fact, it is highly likely that you will be disappointed with some of the election results. When this happens, your life (or even your day) probably isn’t ruined. Realize that the world doesn’t revolve around you and want... Continue reading...
November 4, 2008 11:58 am
Major (repeated) upheaval in the financial markets. Hurricane Ike. Flooding across the Midwest. Concerns about who will be elected President (from both sides). Bombings in Pakistan. Political turmoil in Bolivia and Venezuela. The negative, worry-producing news keeps coming. What’s a person to do? Ignore it? Stress out? Drink more? (I heard a news report that beer and wine sales are up significantly in the last 6 months.) Previously, I have written about the role of thankfulness and gratitude in helping us live more contentedly. Rather than pontificate on the subject further, I thought I would share the things in my... Continue reading...
September 21, 2008 6:45 pm
After being on the road for a week in California, I came home fairly tired. As the weekend progressed I seemed to get more tired — both emotionally and physically. And as I started dealing with home-related (e.g. lawn) and family matters, as well as getting caught up on some minor office work and then looking ahead to the beginning of next week, I started feeling emotionally overloaded. So I started taking a personal inventory of what was going on. I thought about my own advice I’ve given previously on different types of tiredness and different types of rest as... Continue reading...
September 7, 2008 7:04 pm
I have observed a common pattern across many areas that I work (and live) — people avoiding dealing with tense or conflictual situations in their relationships with others. And almost always, not dealing with the situation creates additional problems or makes the conflict larger and more intense (often involving more people than were originally involved). And it happens in lots of settings: in family businesses, between family members working together in office settings, between coworkers who can’t get along in marriages, between spouses in extended families, between parents-in-law and their children’s spouse in schools, between teachers and parents of the students... Continue reading...
I took some time off this weekend to “do nothing” — more than usual, at least. So Friday night, I went to a baseball game (to me that is pretty close to doing nothing!) with my family and hung out with some friends. After doing some chores on Saturday, I went fishing for a while (a more correct description would be “beating the water and losing lures”), went to a movie, and then hung out in the nice Spring evening shooting the breeze with some friends. And today, I helped my wife do some gardening, did some reading, and took... Continue reading...
