Is Showing Appreciation Just about the Practical Benefits?
As a professional who advocates for leaders and team members to consistently show appreciation to their colleagues, I sometimes reflect on the line of thinking I use. My approach typically involves a combination of logic, stories, and research to demonstrate the numerous positive benefits that occur when team members regularly communicate appreciation to one another in ways meaningful to each individual.
This is good stuff – and true. We know that when team members feel truly valued and appreciated, good results follow: lower staff turnover, higher positive morale, increased productivity, higher customer service ratings, . . . the list goes on.
And we know that when people communicate appreciation and gratitude to others, there is a positive effect on their mood – so there is also a benefit to the giver of appreciation.
But are those the only reasons we share with a colleague that we value them? I think, for many supervisors and managers, that may be the case. They want their team and organization to function well – which is a valid motivation.
I believe, however, that there are deeper reasons for valuing one another – motives which are rooted in the essential nature of our lives.
If we step back from our daily lives and take time to consider the magnificence of nature – the blue sky, the beauty and complexity of the trees and flowers, the lovely sound of birds singing in the morning, the amazingly complex systems involved in our bodies (breathing, oxygen getting to our cells through our circulatory system, how all of our bodily systems do their jobs and work together) – we can respond with awe and wonder. In fact, it can be overwhelming, difficult to take it all in.
Similarly, taking time to stop and reflect on the incredible complexity and uniqueness of each person in our lives (with all our strengths and foibles) is critical for us to view our life accurately. To me, the foundation and starting point of appreciation is the “amazingness” of each person – their background and history, their personality, their abilities, their style of communicating – all the different components that make them the person they are (and are becoming). We are all amazing – just the facts of our physical bodies and how they work are astonishing.
Take, for example, the experience of listening to an incredibly talented singer or instrumental musician. As you listen to them and become enraptured, thinking “This is amazing! How do they do that?” Or you watch a dancer or professional athlete demonstrate their skill with unbelievable balance, strength and timing, saying to yourself “Wow! I could never do that!”
It can be as simple as smiling at work when you hear one of your colleagues recount a funny life experience, leading their listeners to respond with laughter. Or the warm, comforting feeling you have when you take a bite of one of your favorite meals, and hear that voice in your head say “Ah, that is so good!”
Life is a combination of wonder-filled experiences, pain, daily drudgery, concerns, exhaustion, rest, . . . (the list seems almost infinite). I find we often miss the “wonder” part because we focus primarily on the mundane and day-to-day.
And I believe this is often true in how we view one another. Going through our day-to-day activities with one another – barely observing who we each are and the uniqueness of each of our lives. But we all are different. That is why our reactions to one another may include curiosity, joy, or even irritation (“why do they do that?”).
Over the years, I’ve come to see that the wellspring from which appreciation for others flows is valuing them – who they are, what they can do, their unique perspective, and how their life interacts and impacts us. Yes, we can appreciate our coworkers for the tasks they get done. And we may communicate our appreciation so that our team and organization will function more effectively.
But isn’t the real reason to show appreciation to others far deeper than the practical results it achieves?
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Categories 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace, Appreciation, Peer Recognition, Relationships
