{"id":14851,"date":"2016-07-11T18:56:55","date_gmt":"2016-07-11T23:56:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/?p=14851"},"modified":"2016-07-11T18:56:55","modified_gmt":"2016-07-11T23:56:55","slug":"show-no-substance-appreciation-fails","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/show-no-substance-appreciation-fails\/","title":{"rendered":"“Just For Show” (with No Substance): When Appreciation Fails"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"11669389_l\"<\/a><\/p>\n

While watching a movie, you’ll notice it before you can put it into words — something seems very off about a character and it immediately sets you on edge. They claim to be a fierce warrior but run and hide whenever a fight breaks out. You\u2019re pulled out of the fantasy and can finally describe why \u2013 their actions don\u2019t match their words.<\/p>\n

Though life isn\u2019t a big screen production, we can still easily notice when others show us false appreciation rather than actual appreciation for a job well done.<\/p>\n

Social Awareness
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

Body language developed long before oral language, making it something hat we pick up on much faster than verbal communication. Even the slightest of shifts in stance is picked up subconsciously and translated by our brains into sub context that is then applied to any words being spoken. It\u2019s an adaptation that almost all animals exhibit to this day. A dog\u2019s tail wagging signifies happiness while one tucked between the legs means fear. Humans have these same tells, though without the tail.<\/p>\n

This is why it is so important our bodies match our words. Naturally, this usually happens. When you\u2019re comfortable, you\u2019ll have a much more open stance. When you\u2019re uncomfortable, you\u2019ll cross your arms in front of your body. For most of us, we perform these actions instinctively. However, when asked to lie, few people ever learn that their body language must also adapt to fit the words. Claiming that you\u2019re comfortable while standing with your arms crossed may\u00a0 indicate that you\u2019re not telling the whole truth. Because of this, we pick up cues when body language and verbal communication don’t seem to match.<\/p>\n

False Appreciation<\/strong><\/p>\n

Arguably the most hurtful time these mismatched signals come into play is when coworkers or bosses try to show appreciation. Many of us know that \u201cthank you\u201d can go a long way but too often these words are hollow. Instead of being said in genuine appreciation and with sincerity, the two words are tossed out quickly as a project is grabbed off of your desk or come out strained from a seated boss that is focusing hard at papers on their desk.<\/p>\n

In seconds, we conclude that those words of appreciation are\u00a0 meaningless. In fact, it would have been better had they never been uttered at all. Why even waste the breath on those two words when there\u2019s no sincerity behind them? This raises the question: if the boss or coworker lies about something that would be so simple to do appropriately, are they lying about other things as well? This puts the workplace on alert and, pretty soon, it becomes a topic of break room discussions.<\/p>\n

On top of this, false appreciation fosters a workplace filled with unspoken animosity. No one wants to be thanked insincerely. Everyone does their job because they\u2019re paid to, not necessarily because they want to. Not all projects are fun or easy. Employees do not enjoy rushing to complete the task to cover their boss\u2019 lack of organization.\u00a0 However, the work gets done because the work needs to get done. To do so, a lot of stress gets shouldered and an insincere \u201crecognition\u201d of such a fact means that the liar has no awareness of the realities of their team members\u2019 jobs.<\/p>\n

Authentic Appreciation<\/strong><\/p>\n

One way to easily do this is when you thank someone, make sure your body language, facial expression and tone of voice match.\u00a0 Stopping and facing them (versus talking to them as you walk by), smiling and having a cheerful tone of voice can make a huge difference.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s a way to show the person that thanking them is worth your time.<\/p>\n

Depending on how well you know the person, you can offer a handshake, fist bump or hug as a physical way of expressing how much you respect what they have done. After all, letting another person into your personal space is a pretty big deal when forming a deeper connection. Something like that is the least that can be done for times when you really want to thank someone.<\/p>\n

To make this “thank you” better, add into the conversation what you are specifically thankful for. General, real \u201cthank you’s\u201d are nice, but specific \u201cthank you’s\u201d are even better. It communicates that you actually know what they do and what they did either for you or the company. It calls out their individual strengths and how those contribute to the betterment of the office.<\/p>\n

Another way people share their appreciation is through gift giving. Unfortunately, these can tend to backfire as awarding employees mugs with the company logo emblazoned on the side isn\u2019t exactly meaningful nor does it acknowledge an individual\u2019s preferences. Such a gift generalizes everyone, alienating them by indicating that it was not worth your time to find a gift that they, personally, would find value in. And, often it is viewed a promotional ploy and only done to make sure employees are carting and displaying their brand everywhere.\u00a0 For offices that have hundreds of employees, individual gifts maybe \u00a0unrealistic.\u00a0 To circumvent any animosity caused by such gifts, individualized presents should be awarded for the rarer displays of appreciation. While not everyone will receive such attention, everyone on your team will know through those few individualized gifts that the company does respect the desires of each individual.<\/p>\n

Remember, not everyone feels appreciated (or “thanked”) in the same ways.\u00a0 These are a few examples of the 5 languages of appreciation<\/a> (others include spending time, helping with tasks) that can “hit the mark” in trying to show true, authentic appreciation.<\/p>\n

*\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 *\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 *\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 *\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 *\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 *<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Blog_NoticeBorder3\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"While watching a movie, you’ll notice it before you can put it into words — something seems very off about a character and it immediately sets you on edge. They claim to be a fierce warrior but run and hide whenever a fight breaks out. You\u2019re pulled out of the fantasy and can finally describe… Continue reading…<\/a>","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[132,133,198,21,67,83],"tags":[1668,1669,1670,1671,1672,1673,1674],"aioseo_notices":[],"yoast_head":"\n"Just For Show" (with No Substance): When Appreciation Fails - Appreciation at Work<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/show-no-substance-appreciation-fails\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\""Just For Show" (with No Substance): When Appreciation Fails - Appreciation at Work\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"While watching a movie, you’ll notice it before you can put it into words — something seems very off about a character and it immediately sets you on edge. They claim to be a fierce warrior but run and hide whenever a fight breaks out. You\u2019re pulled out of the fantasy and can finally describe... Continue reading...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/show-no-substance-appreciation-fails\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Appreciation at Work\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/appreciationatwork\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-07-11T23:56:55+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/appreciationatwork-media.s3.amazonaws.com\/uploads\/2016\/03\/11669389_l-300x166.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Maria Duron\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@drpaulwhite\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@drpaulwhite\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Maria Duron\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/show-no-substance-appreciation-fails\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/show-no-substance-appreciation-fails\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Maria Duron\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/#\/schema\/person\/37431d4463bcc1b8d63164be976c146e\"},\"headline\":\"“Just For Show” (with No Substance): When Appreciation Fails\",\"datePublished\":\"2016-07-11T23:56:55+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-07-11T23:56:55+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/show-no-substance-appreciation-fails\/\"},\"wordCount\":957,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/#organization\"},\"keywords\":[\"authentic\",\"fake\",\"False Appreciation\",\"genuine\",\"Social Awareness\",\"thanks\",\"True Appreciation\"],\"articleSection\":[\"5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace\",\"Appreciation\",\"Authenticity\",\"Communication\",\"Gratitude\",\"Thankfulness\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/show-no-substance-appreciation-fails\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/show-no-substance-appreciation-fails\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/show-no-substance-appreciation-fails\/\",\"name\":\"\\\"Just For Show\\\" (with No Substance): When Appreciation Fails - Appreciation at Work\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2016-07-11T23:56:55+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-07-11T23:56:55+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/show-no-substance-appreciation-fails\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/show-no-substance-appreciation-fails\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/show-no-substance-appreciation-fails\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"“Just For Show” (with No Substance): When Appreciation Fails\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/\",\"name\":\"Appreciation at Work\",\"description\":\"Making Work Relationships Work with Authentic Appreciation\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Appreciation at Work\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/AAW-Logo.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/AAW-Logo.jpg\",\"width\":1075,\"height\":281,\"caption\":\"Appreciation at Work\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/appreciationatwork\",\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/drpaulwhite\",\"https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/company\/5-languages-of-appreciation-in-the-workplace\",\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/drpaulwhite\/\",\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/user\/AppreciationAtWork\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/#\/schema\/person\/37431d4463bcc1b8d63164be976c146e\",\"name\":\"Maria Duron\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8fcb62ae222e05dd4f171f1a228cbd65?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8fcb62ae222e05dd4f171f1a228cbd65?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Maria Duron\"},\"description\":\"Maria Elena Duron is a connector, trainer and coach. Small business owners that work with Maria Elena develop a profitable relationship building system, appeal to their brand advocates, and increase sales.\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/www.BuzzToBucks.com\"]}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"\"Just For Show\" (with No Substance): When Appreciation Fails - Appreciation at Work","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/show-no-substance-appreciation-fails\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"\"Just For Show\" (with No Substance): When Appreciation Fails - Appreciation at Work","og_description":"While watching a movie, you’ll notice it before you can put it into words — something seems very off about a character and it immediately sets you on edge. They claim to be a fierce warrior but run and hide whenever a fight breaks out. You\u2019re pulled out of the fantasy and can finally describe... Continue reading...","og_url":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/show-no-substance-appreciation-fails\/","og_site_name":"Appreciation at Work","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/appreciationatwork","article_published_time":"2016-07-11T23:56:55+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/appreciationatwork-media.s3.amazonaws.com\/uploads\/2016\/03\/11669389_l-300x166.jpg"}],"author":"Maria Duron","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@drpaulwhite","twitter_site":"@drpaulwhite","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Maria Duron","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/show-no-substance-appreciation-fails\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/show-no-substance-appreciation-fails\/"},"author":{"name":"Maria Duron","@id":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/#\/schema\/person\/37431d4463bcc1b8d63164be976c146e"},"headline":"“Just For Show” (with No Substance): When Appreciation Fails","datePublished":"2016-07-11T23:56:55+00:00","dateModified":"2016-07-11T23:56:55+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/show-no-substance-appreciation-fails\/"},"wordCount":957,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/#organization"},"keywords":["authentic","fake","False Appreciation","genuine","Social Awareness","thanks","True Appreciation"],"articleSection":["5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace","Appreciation","Authenticity","Communication","Gratitude","Thankfulness"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/show-no-substance-appreciation-fails\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/show-no-substance-appreciation-fails\/","url":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/show-no-substance-appreciation-fails\/","name":"\"Just For Show\" (with No Substance): When Appreciation Fails - Appreciation at Work","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2016-07-11T23:56:55+00:00","dateModified":"2016-07-11T23:56:55+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/show-no-substance-appreciation-fails\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/show-no-substance-appreciation-fails\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/show-no-substance-appreciation-fails\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"“Just For Show” (with No Substance): When Appreciation Fails"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/","name":"Appreciation at Work","description":"Making Work Relationships Work with Authentic Appreciation","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/#organization","name":"Appreciation at Work","url":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/AAW-Logo.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/AAW-Logo.jpg","width":1075,"height":281,"caption":"Appreciation at Work"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/appreciationatwork","https:\/\/twitter.com\/drpaulwhite","https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/company\/5-languages-of-appreciation-in-the-workplace","https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/drpaulwhite\/","https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/user\/AppreciationAtWork"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/#\/schema\/person\/37431d4463bcc1b8d63164be976c146e","name":"Maria Duron","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8fcb62ae222e05dd4f171f1a228cbd65?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/8fcb62ae222e05dd4f171f1a228cbd65?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Maria Duron"},"description":"Maria Elena Duron is a connector, trainer and coach. Small business owners that work with Maria Elena develop a profitable relationship building system, appeal to their brand advocates, and increase sales.","sameAs":["http:\/\/www.BuzzToBucks.com"]}]}},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4rPvw-3Rx","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14851"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14851"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14851\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14851"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14851"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14851"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}