{"id":20331,"date":"2019-02-18T08:50:31","date_gmt":"2019-02-18T14:50:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/?p=20331"},"modified":"2019-05-14T11:56:01","modified_gmt":"2019-05-14T16:56:01","slug":"how-to-deal-with-condescending-colleagues","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/how-to-deal-with-condescending-colleagues\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Deal with Condescending Colleagues"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Spend any time in the workforce, and there is a high possibility that you will be made to feel \u201csmall\u201d by a colleague talking down to you or devaluing your input.\u00a0 Taking some time, however, to understand what motivates condescension, as well as learning some strategies to combat it, can help make working with colleagues who tend to be condescending much more tolerable.<\/p>\n

What motivates condescension?<\/strong><\/p>\n

A person who is condescending in their comments toward others often:<\/p>\n

1) wants to \u201cwin\u201d the discussion, usually by squelching any dissent<\/p>\n

2) uses the situation to boost their own self-esteem by tearing down another person<\/p>\n

3) likes the power rush that comes from being the one who determines the best idea.<\/p>\n

In some situations, a condescending remark is the result of the person being under extreme stress, and the comment slips out in an impatient moment.\u00a0 These are the easiest situations to deal with because it is not an established interaction style, and will either remedy itself once the stress clears, or the person will likely be open to someone pointing out the undesired behavior.\u00a0 But many situations involving condescending remarks in the workplace often occur as a result of the person\u2019s overall interaction style.<\/p>\n

In these cases, condescension can be traced back to insecurity, control issues and\/or a wound from the person\u2019s past.\u00a0 They believe there is something about themselves is lacking that must be compensated for.\u00a0 They feel a need to establish feelings of self-worth, or to not feel out of control of the situation.\u00a0 Condescension is used in an attempt to fill the perceived gaps in their lives.<\/p>\n

How to deal with condescension<\/strong><\/p>\n

DON\u2019T TAKE IT PERSONALLY. <\/strong>Remember to not take their comment personally can help defuse the hurt you experience.\u00a0 A condescending remark is more about the other person\u2019s, than your shortcomings. If you have an established relationship with the person, you could say something like, \u201cWow, you must be under a lot of stress right now.\u00a0 Is there something I can help you with?\u201d<\/p>\n

CONSIDER POSSIBLE FLECKS OF TRUTH. <\/strong>Although their delivery was terrible, there could actually be some constructive feedback to glean from the comment.\u00a0 Take a moment to examine what was said, and squeeze something to work with from it, if possible.<\/p>\n

KEEP BITTERNESS AT BAY. <\/strong>Working with someone who is consistently condescending can make you not only angry but bitter in ways that can make you toxic, too. Find ways to nurture your inner reserves and gain perspective. Don\u2019t let their unhealthy behaviors become contagious.\u00a0 It may help to vent with a trusted friend about the situation to gain perspective.<\/p>\n

POSSIBLE ACTIONS TO CONSIDER. <\/strong>Maybe you have power to influence change, maybe not. Here are some pointers if you do decide to confront your patronizing colleague:<\/p>\n