{"id":21715,"date":"2020-11-16T09:00:42","date_gmt":"2020-11-16T15:00:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/?p=21715"},"modified":"2020-11-15T17:59:26","modified_gmt":"2020-11-15T23:59:26","slug":"thinking-ahead-ways-to-avoid-a-thanksgiving-downer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/thinking-ahead-ways-to-avoid-a-thanksgiving-downer\/","title":{"rendered":"Thinking Ahead: Ways to Avoid a Thanksgiving “Downer”"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Image by Grace Hue Photography on Unsplash<\/p><\/div>\n

Thanksgiving is coming up next week and the holiday has been in the news due to the impact the COVID-19 virus is having on our lives. I will leave the practical suggestions on how to make a holiday gathering safe to the medical experts (for those of you who choose to get together with family and friends).<\/p>\n

I want to present some thoughts and suggestions that you should consider before planning your holiday celebration — in hopes of helping you think clearly about the options you are considering and<\/strong> giving you ways to avoid<\/i> experiencing a depressing Thanksgiving Day.<\/p>\n

First, avoid “all or nothing” thinking. <\/strong><\/em>One of the quickest, and surest, ways to struggle with discouragement and depression is to approach life’s challenges with a mental style that divides life into categories, “great,” “the best ever” or “terrible,” “the worst day of my life.” Most of life is “average” and spreads into descriptors like “pretty good,” “not bad,” “not the best.”\u00a0 Keep from using words (either verbally or in your thoughts) like “no one …”, “I never …”, “Everyone else always …”\u00a0 They are rarely true (to the extreme expressed) and typically lead to nowhere good.<\/p>\n

Next, make wise choices about how, where and with whom you will spend your holiday.<\/b> <\/i>Most of us think that we are fairly logical about the decisions we make, but research results say otherwise. Most decisions are more influenced about how we feel, our social context (and the social pressure we feel), prior experiences, and our desires. All of these factors lead most people to minimize the risks<\/em> to themselves (and those close to them), especially when deciding about emotionally-infused events involving family and friends.<\/p>\n

Let me give you a brief mental exercise to work through as you are deciding about your holiday plans.<\/p>\n

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  1. Outline the 2 or 3 most probable alternatives you have to choose between.<\/li>\n
  2. For each alternative, consider the short-term benefits and potential negatives of choosing<\/em> that option. (I’d suggest you write down your thoughts.) Then think about the short-term benefits and possible negative results of not choosing\u00a0<\/em>that option.<\/li>\n
  3. Now (this step is important), think through each alternative and consider the\u00a0long-term<\/strong> risks (potential negatives) and possible positive outcomes, both for going and not going.<\/li>\n
  4. Compare the potential positives with the possible long-term negative results. Are the positives actually worth the long-term negative results which could occur? (Chronic lung difficulties, impact on your future work, unknowingly spreading the virus to family members.)<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Remember, we all are biased to minimize the risks to ourselves in these types of situations. I’m not encouraging you to become a “worry wart,” but to be realistic in your assessment.<\/p>\n

    Third,\u00a0engage in some creative problem-solving and planning<\/strong><\/em> that will give you some of the positives from the holiday, while minimizing the risks.\u00a0 Some are obvious:<\/p>\n