{"id":24259,"date":"2023-09-11T09:00:00","date_gmt":"2023-09-11T14:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/?p=24259"},"modified":"2023-09-11T07:07:16","modified_gmt":"2023-09-11T12:07:16","slug":"the-different-faces-of-workplace-conflict-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/the-different-faces-of-workplace-conflict-2\/","title":{"rendered":"The Different Faces of Workplace Conflict"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Not all conflicts look the same. And sometimes we don\u2019t even realize there is tension in the air until someone points it out to us (\u201cHave you noticed how standoffish Julie has been to us since that disagreement in the last team meeting?\u201d). On the other hand, some individuals perceive <\/em>friction when it doesn\u2019t really exist in the other person\u2019s mind. For example, you may think someone is upset with you because they have been \u201ccool\u201d toward you, when, in actuality, they are not very interactive because they are concerned about their mother who is in the hospital.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s lay out some of the common ways conflict is demonstrated in the workplace \u2013 some behaviors make the discord obvious to anyone in the room, while others are more subtle.<\/p>\n\n\n

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You might be saying to yourself, \u201cSo what? Nothing new here.\u201d But I would encourage you to take a moment to go back through the lists, reflect and ask yourself, \u201cWhich of these do I see in my workplace?\u201d And, \u201cWhich of these do I either experience from others or demonstrate occasionally?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

WHAT TO DO FIRST: KEEP THINGS FROM BLOWING UP<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although we don\u2019t like it, most of us are okay with a little disagreement at work occasionally. It happens, right? But what we really<\/em> don\u2019t like is the anxiety that starts to increase when we (and others) are concerned that the tension is growing \u2013 and we don\u2019t know when it will end and where it will lead. You may start to hear suggestions like, \u201cJust let it go, Carol. It\u2019s not that big of a deal.\u201d Or someone may ask, \u201cDo you think I should say something? Did you see the look on her face? It was like she was shooting daggers from her eyes!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The concern becomes not the interaction that occurred or even how people are feeling now, but what needs to happen to keep this from blowing up into a major conflict?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are a few potential actions to take (followed by a few things not to do)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Stop and reflect (don\u2019t immediately react). <\/em>If you are upset about a situation, slow down and take a few deep breaths. Ask yourself: Am I sure I heard what was said correctly? Is it possible I missed something? Is there someone I could ask for clarification or confirmation?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Seek clarification and understanding \u2013 either from a colleague who was also present or from the person who communicated the message<\/em>. Be careful how you phrase your questions.\u00a0 Don\u2019t<\/strong> start with: \u201cAre you kidding me? Did you really say \u2026?\u201d or \u201cDid I mishear you or are you actually an idiot?\u201d Try an introduction like: \u201cBrian, I\u2019m confused. Could you help me out?\u201d Or, \u201cI\u2019m struggling with what just happened. I\u2019m wondering if I misheard or misinterpreted what was communicated. Can you help me understand?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Only get involved in trying to resolve a tense situation if that is your role. <\/em>Generally, in relationships, if there is a conflict or misunderstanding, the individuals in the misunderstanding are the only individuals who need to be working to resolve the miscommunication. Unless you are a kindergarten teacher, it is best not<\/strong> to get in the middle and help Crystal and Naomi work out their differences. At work, however, there are situations where a supervisor may assist in helping smooth the waters between two of their team members, but these are infrequent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now that you have slowed down your reaction to a situation, here are a couple of additional things to do:<\/p>\n\n\n\n