{"id":24323,"date":"2023-11-06T09:34:30","date_gmt":"2023-11-06T15:34:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/?p=24323"},"modified":"2023-11-06T09:34:35","modified_gmt":"2023-11-06T15:34:35","slug":"the-most-important-and-hidden-guest-at-thanksgiving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/the-most-important-and-hidden-guest-at-thanksgiving\/","title":{"rendered":"The Most Important (and Hidden) Guest at Thanksgiving"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/thanksgiving-long-table-scaled.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"2560\" height=\"1054\" src=\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/thanksgiving-long-table-scaled.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-24324\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/thanksgiving-long-table-scaled.jpg 2560w, https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/thanksgiving-long-table-250x103.jpg 250w, https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/thanksgiving-long-table-700x288.jpg 700w, https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/thanksgiving-long-table-768x316.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/thanksgiving-long-table-1536x632.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/thanksgiving-long-table-2048x843.jpg 2048w, https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/thanksgiving-long-table-120x49.jpg 120w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 2560px) 100vw, 2560px\" \/><\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We\u2019ve entered November, which means Thanksgiving is approaching. And unfortunately, for many people, thoughts about this year\u2019s Thanksgiving bring up negative reactions and raises our anxiety. (This is in contrast to focusing on <em>past<\/em> Thanksgiving holidays where we can usually recall some positive memories and feelings.) Why might this be?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I would propose that there is a singular guest we all have at our holiday events \u2013 regardless of what type of Thanksgiving celebration we have. And this guest is usually hidden, until we learn they aren\u2019t pleased. Who is it? <strong><em>Expectations.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Take a moment to think about this year\u2019s upcoming Thanksgiving. What comes to mind?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li>Plans for the day and weekend<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Preparations that need to occur<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Communication (or lack of) with those you will be with; or thoughts about those you <em>won\u2019t<\/em> be talking to<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Intertwined with all of these thoughts are <em>expectations: <\/em>yours, your spouse\u2019s \/ partner\u2019s, your parents\u2019, your kids\u2019, grandparents\u2019, in-laws\u2019, friends\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Those are a lot of peoples\u2019 expectations to know, understand, accept \/ reject, try to meet or just deal with. And by their very nature, they conflict with one another. The results?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n<li><em>Tension<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>Difficult decisions and conversations<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>Relational conflict<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>Internal distress<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Then add all of the subtle expectations we receive from our living environment: work, our boss, our coworkers, customers (possibly), what we see posted on Instagram and Facebook, what we hear on the news, radio, podcasts. Constantly urging us to \u201cBe thankful!\u201d \u201cBe grateful and positive!\u201d \u201cYou should [do this].\u201d&nbsp; \u201cYou should [do that].\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Now, instead of a warm, fun, relational time with those we care about, we start dreading the holiday which is supposed to be a celebration of all the good things in our lives. No wonder we feel stressed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>What to Do<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So . . . what can we do? <em>Identify our expectations?<\/em> Helpful. <em>Communicate clearly with others, including learning about their expectations? <\/em>Also, helpful. <em>Align everyone\u2019s expectations?<\/em> Not happening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I think an important step is to <em>accept reality. <\/em>The reality that people have differing expectations. The reality that there is a good probability that some external circumstance may disrupt your plans. The reality that we may not fully know our own and others\u2019 expectations until they come to the surface because they aren\u2019t being met. The reality that you will have unmet expectations, and that is okay. The reality that others will have unmet expectations, and for some, that means they will be unhappy (or frustrated or disappointed or angry). The reality that you can\u2019t make them feel better \u2013 that is their choice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What else might help you cope with expectations? Remember to invite another guest\u2026 <strong>perspective<\/strong>. Perspective reminds us that many people struggle with poverty and hunger and have been displaced from their homes. And, almost certainly, we all know someone (or may be someone) who is hurting or experiencing a difficult life circumstance or strained close relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But no matter the circumstances you find yourself in, there is almost always <em>something<\/em> to be thankful for. There <em>are<\/em> blessings in our lives, even if they seem small compared to what we see on television and social media. And perspective helps us to find and focus on those during this holiday of thanks. So&#8230; even though there will be tension around the holiday, be kind (to others and yourself) and patient, and let someone know you care about and are thankful for them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"We\u2019ve entered November, which means Thanksgiving is approaching. And unfortunately, for many people, thoughts about this year\u2019s Thanksgiving bring up negative reactions and raises our anxiety. (This is in contrast to focusing on past Thanksgiving holidays where we can usually recall some positive memories and feelings.) Why might this be? I would propose that there&#8230; <a class=\"view-article\" href=\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/the-most-important-and-hidden-guest-at-thanksgiving\/\">Continue reading&#8230;<\/a>","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[67,701,19,83],"tags":[2157,201,2031],"aioseo_notices":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Most Important (and Hidden) Guest at Thanksgiving - Appreciation at Work<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"As we get closer to Thanksgiving, many of us feel our stress level increase. Why does that happen and what can you do to cope with it?\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.appreciationatwork.com\/blog\/the-most-important-and-hidden-guest-at-thanksgiving\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Most Important (and Hidden) Guest at Thanksgiving - Appreciation at Work\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"As we get closer to Thanksgiving, many of us feel our stress level increase. 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